Mental Health for Pregnancy, Postpartum, Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, and Child Free Thriving with Windy Ezzell, MA
In this discussion we tackle all things mental health. From fostering healthy sexual development in children, to pregnancy loss.
IN THIS EPISODE:
- -What it was like working as a child trauma therapist and child forensic interviewer.
- -How can adults foster healthy sexual development in children?
- -What can we do when it comes to teen sexual health, to protect the fertility of the teenagers in our lives as well as prevent unwanted pregnancies?
- -What is the difference between infertility, secondary infertility, and POI (primary ovarian insufficiency)?
- -What should men and women know before age 30 to help protect their fertility?
- -What is social infertility?
- -What are some ways couples can navigate the stress of infertility?
- -What is donor conception?
- -At what age should a women consider egg freezing?
- -At what age should a man get his sperm tested?
- -Mental health during pregnancy.
- -Why is pregnancy loss so common?
- -What does Postpartum depression feel like?
- -Child free thriving
- and so much more!
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Kat: [00:00:00] Hi, Wendy. Thank you so much for being with us here today.
[00:00:03] Windy: [00:00:03] Thank you so much, Kat. It’s so good to see you. Thanks for having me.
[00:00:06]Kat: [00:00:06] Today we’re going to touch upon a few sensitive topics. So trigger warnings, to everyone. But before we get into it, tell us a little bit about your journey and why you became a mental health counselor and why you made your focus around reproductive health..
[00:00:22] Windy: [00:00:22] Sure. Sure. I was actually a special education teacher first, and most of the children came in with major mental health issues. So I started in that direction of child trauma and mental health. Then that took me into private practice. And started my own infertility journey. So struggled with infertility and multiple losses for several years, ended up having my two rainbow babies and struggled with a traumatic birth.
[00:00:47] And then of course, postpartum anxiety. And so the reproductive health specialty was born. And have really, immersed myself with education and, there’s a lot of great trainings with American society for reproductive medicine. Really have just immersed myself for the last 17 years with that. So here I am.
[00:01:07]Kat: [00:01:07] I normally don’t talk about children on the podcast, just because a lot of the listeners have PCOS and struggle with infertility, but I was still a little curious and I wanted to know about your work as a child trauma therapist and a child forensic interviewer. Could you tell us a little bit about what that was like?
[00:01:25]Windy: [00:01:25] Oh, wow. Yeah, that was very tough. I just, I say retired from that in 2017 did that for years, the special education and being a teacher really showed me how so many kids come to school, hungry, tired, and the child abuse was just rampant. So the neglect. And the child sexual abuse was really my specialty.
[00:01:46] When I got into that, they trained us specifically for forensics. So we worked with a multidisciplinary team, which was social workers, counselors law enforcement child advocacy. And it was so rewarding and so hard. And I have mad respect for all the folks that still do that, but it is.
[00:02:05] That’s why I’m big on reproductive health, across the lifespan, because knowledge is power and the more. We teach our children or our sisters or brothers or our spouses or our partners, the more they will be able to protect themselves.
[00:02:18]Kat: [00:02:18] For those of us who have, or will someday become parents or have children somehow in our lives, what are some ways that we, as adults, can help foster a healthy sexual development in children?
[00:02:31]Windy: [00:02:31] That is a wonderful question. We start on the changing table. So by just naming body parts in the bathtub on the changing table oh my goodness. Let me wipe that penis. Let me wipe that vagina. This is a mess when we clean that up for you, you are starting that conversation early and often, because like I said, you’ll hear me say that a million times knowledge is power and the more information we have as human beings.
[00:02:58] Children, adolescents, young adults. It goes a long way. So start early and often. And there’s some great resources that I like to share with people that I can send to you and you can post it to your audience. Because a lot of your folks may have younger siblings and their siblings look up to them and get their information from there.
[00:03:17] Like my own two little girls, their brother who I didn’t birth, but he’s been with me his whole life. They look up to him he’s 13 years older, so they get a lot of good information from him.
[00:03:28]Kat: [00:03:28] What can we do when it comes to teen sexual health to protect the fertility of teenagers in our lives, as well as prevent unwanted pregnancies?
[00:03:38] Windy: [00:03:38] Ah, yes. So as we all know, sex education historically has been more about preventing pregnancy or preventing STDs. And so the movement now really is teaching that fertility awareness.
[00:03:52] I was actually just speaking to my own gynecologist and we were talking about how we really need to get it into the schools or at least on a podcast to let people know just fertility awareness. Young people need to know. I wish I would’ve known as a 15, 16, 17 year old, what my fertility journey would have looked like.
[00:04:12] So like you were saying with endometriosis PCOS and there are so many medical conditions that could be addressed beforehand, if it was just a matter of fact, natural conversation. Protecting their fertility or just fertility awareness. Here’s your, what your AMH is. Here’s what your FSH is, which is your hormone levels.
[00:04:29] And your ovarian reserved to me those, should be just basic information like holding hands when you cross the street and looking both ways.
[00:04:38]Kat: [00:04:38] What do you think about when doctors just go, oh, you have some hormonal problems. Here’s the birth control pill.
[00:04:43] Windy: [00:04:43] Yeah. So I was just speaking with my gynecologist about that too. And she has two teenage daughters and she is, ahead of her time, because she speaks to that too, that she doesn’t like to just put people on birth control as a band-aid and that she really likes to educate and make people aware of it.
[00:05:01] What those hormones are and do the investigation to get to the root of some issues and take the time and OB GYN, that may be the first person that a, 15, 16, 17 year old sees that embarks on their journey for their reproductive health. And so she’s a big fan. I’m a big fan of just having that knowledge so you can make good decisions.
[00:05:21] So you know what to do. And so understanding and taking the time to listen to people. About what their symptoms are about, what they’re feeling in their body is huge. It’s important. We’re going to see a huge shift with this in the next couple years.
[00:05:34]Kat: [00:05:34] I’m hoping that there’s a good shift because it still seems like the standard is here’s the bandaid birth control. Good luck. Don’t do any lifestyle changes. Just, this is enough, right?
[00:05:45] Windy: [00:05:45] That’s why I’m thankful for you and your podcast is because you’re motivated and dedicated, like I am, to really getting that word out there.
[00:05:52] So it’s coming. I promise, I see everything is progress. I see it coming.
[00:05:56]Kat: [00:05:56] So let’s talk about infertility. Could you explain the differences between infertility secondary infertility and primary ovarian insufficiency?
[00:06:06] Windy: [00:06:06] Sure. So infertility is shared equally between male and female, male or female partners.
[00:06:16] So 40% female issue, 40% male issue in 20% combined or unexplained. And that is for folks who are under 35, who have been trying to conceive for a year. Probably need a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist. And for those over 35. I follow the American society for reproductive medicine guidelines, but if I have folks that are, 37, 38, closer to 40, I say let’s not wait, let’s not wait for six months.
[00:06:42] Let’s just go right ahead. Give it a couple of months. And let’s go ahead and get you checked out because this is a medical issue. And then secondary infertility is someone who has had a successful pregnancy and then subsequently is struggling and either having miscarriages or can’t get pregnant a second time or subsequent pregnancies and primary Premature ovarian insufficiency.
[00:07:04] That is a sad one. I see that quite a bit here in my little corner of the world on that is when someone before 40 is going through menopause earlier or their Avarian function is slowing down or non-existent, there’s no cure for it. There are some great treatments, but no cure.
[00:07:23]Really, if you look at the toxins in our environment, it’s not a surprise. There’s so many plastics in our everyday use and our cosmetics and our water bottles. I won’t get on a soapbox with that, but I really do to listen to and research the holistic piece. And I asked one of my reproductive endocrinology friends, and she said that she seen, and I need to pull the real data, but just in her little corner of the world as well.
[00:07:47]There’s so many toxins in our environment of what we’re exposed to. Sperm and eggs are fragile.
[00:07:53]Kat: [00:07:53] What should men and women know before age 30 to help protect their fertility?
[00:07:59]Windy: [00:07:59] That’s great. So you mentioned lifestyle factors before. So are we moving our bodies? What are we putting in our bodies? Are we exposed to chemicals in the workplace? Are we exposed to chemicals in our cosmetics, our hair products vaping, smoking laptops.
[00:08:17] Lifestyle factors are huge.
[00:08:19]And is there anything different that you need to think about right around the age before 40? The things that I would think about around 40 are, and I see a lot of folks that come into the office, they’re 40 and they think Janet Jackson had a baby. The news anchor had a baby and they were 50.
[00:08:37]They did, however they maybe had access to egg freezing or embryo donation or egg donation or sperm donation. And we don’t know that and they do have a right to privacy, but I would say if before 40, we really need to be thinking about having that conversation with our OB GYN about family planning.
[00:08:56] And what does that look like? That’s why I feel like in our twenties and teens, the OB-GYNs really need to be having just a fertility awareness conversation and not just preventing pregnancy and STDs.
[00:09:07]Kat: [00:09:07] What is social infertility?
[00:09:10] Windy: [00:09:10] Social infertility, a lot of my same sex couples, as it’s much harder for them to have a baby traditionally. So they do have to experience the financial burden, the emotional burden of utilizing a sperm donor egg donor, or Any of the reproductive endocrinology and the assisted reproductive technologies.
[00:09:32] So they have to bear that, especially the financial burden, whereas traditionally heterosexual couples do not. And a lot of folks still think, oh two guys and two girls can have a baby that is social infertility. Yes, they can. There are lots of wonderful options.
[00:09:48]Kat: [00:09:48] I have seen so many relationships implode, or at least almost end when struggling with infertility so what are some ways couples can navigate such a stressful time without turning on each other?
[00:10:00] Windy: [00:10:00] Yeah. This process either makes us or breaks us. So luckily the statistics are on our side. They some can implode and there’s usually already prior communication issues.
[00:10:14] But if there’s one piece of advice, I would say over, communicate, clarify, communicate, create. If we are clarifying and checking in with one another, just regularly as part of our relationship health check it builds bridges to better communication and that builds bridges to creating great relationships.
[00:10:32] So communicate communicate.
[00:10:35]Kat: [00:10:35] What is donor conception? How does it work? What is the process like?
[00:10:41]Windy: [00:10:41] Donor conception is when, either through social and fertility or through a medical condition, we have to utilize a donor embryo, a donor egg, or donor sperm.
[00:10:53] To help create and build our family. So it works through known donor or unknown donor. The trend is really thankfully moving towards open because nothing is anonymous anymore. You can have an unknown donor and back in the old days, they would use. Anonymous as the word. There’s no such thing, not with technology anymore.
[00:11:14] And when I do the intended parent consults for people who are, who will be utilizing any sort of donor Gammy, we talk about that a lot is there is no such thing as anonymity. So dealing with the emotions that come with grieving the loss of their genetics, we also talk about, okay, so what is disclosure going to look like with your child or children?
[00:11:34]It’s a wonderful, fascinating exciting process, but it is also a process of grief of acceptance of confusion so that we can talk about hours.
[00:11:47]Kat: [00:11:47] At what age should a woman consider egg freezing and conversely, at what age should a man consider getting his sperm tested?
[00:11:56]Windy: [00:11:56] So we’ll start with the egg freezing American society for reproductive medicine. I remember being in one of those conferences in 2012, and it came across, they announced that it was officially off of experimental status and October of 2012, where as for folks with cancer, they offer that before then.
[00:12:16] One of my favorite doctors in California, I follow her and think her information. It’s just wonderful. It’s Dr. Amy, the egg whisper and I follow her and of course the American society of reproductive medicine. But there again, that brings us back to. As teenagers, we should be teaching young women and young men about their bodies.
[00:12:38] Now egg freezing is not an insurance policy. A lot of times people think, oh I’ll just freeze, my eggs. And I’ll be okay until I’m 40 or 45. No, it is a very intrusive process of medications, a whole cycle of treatments. And I would definitely encourage people to talk to their OB GYN or do some research and look at the American Society of reproductive medicine, because as medical professionals, they can walk you through all of that.
[00:13:02]But like I said, it is not an insurance policy. However, it’s great that we have these here because as women, we’re wanting to go through with our careers and have it all. And it’s not just a cycle. Most people have to have two and three cycles and it’s expensive. There’s a lot around that, but as far as young men going towards the sperm same conversation with their pediatrician with their primary care doctor. Let’s talk about that. And if there’s going to be any sort of deployment in the military, if there’s going to be there’s some sort of cancer issue, most definitely talk about sperm, freezing.
[00:13:36] Kat: [00:13:36] So Let’s say a woman is 40 single, but she wants to experience having a child. What are her options, but what does she need to seriously consider before going forward?
[00:13:48] Windy: [00:13:48] That is another conversation to have with someone who is a specialist in reproductive health, whether that be a coach, a counselor, their doctor, there are many families, men and women who are built by singles.
[00:14:03] Parents by choice. There’s a term choice, moms choice dads and lots of great research, especially with resolve with American Society of reproductive medicine, bio news, out of the UK. They’re way ahead of us. I love that as well. Those three sites that I just mentioned are where most of the world and Dr. Google get their information. So those are my three trusted sites. Yeah, lots of successful families are built through synchrony. Single families just had one of my clients come in with her yesterday. She’s a single mom by choice with her three month old little boy and is, has gotten through the postpartum period wonderfully and they are doing great.
[00:14:39] She built her tribe. So she has friends that help out. She has her parents that help out her brother is the male role model. She is the poster girl for successful choice, mom.
[00:14:53]Kat: [00:14:53] How stressful can pregnancy be on a relationship? Because I know many women in the past would get pregnant to secure a relationship. For the most part. I don’t see that working out anymore. I’ve also heard. Pregnancy can be a dangerous time for a woman that they could be murdered by the husband or the boyfriend. Thanks to years of watching lifetime movies.
[00:15:17]Windy: [00:15:17] I think that really brings us back to the communication. So as college students, as teenagers as when we’re.
[00:15:27]Potential parents or parents teaching those skills in school and at home for communication. So there are perinatal mood disorders. And I think when we educate everyone, not just girls, that will save a lot of relationships and. Bring down the divorce rate, because there are so many factors that go into a successful pregnancy and connection and communication one, instead of blaming it on a hormone, even though there are hormones at play here instead of dismissing, really working on empathy and compassion and connection.
[00:16:06] So communication clarify, communicate, create that’s my soap box for that.
[00:16:11]Kat: [00:16:11] I know when I was pregnant, I couldn’t be in a car. Cause I thought everyone was trying to kill me in the baby. And I was a nightmare to be around freaking out. Thankfully, my husband is just ignored me. But why do some women freak out so much more and how do you really prepare your partner in case you’re one of those crazy people?
[00:16:30]Windy: [00:16:30] And you weren’t crazy. You were actually having an increased anxiety. With pregnancy induced anxiety. That is real. There, and thankfully we have done a lot of research and the doctors have done a lot of research on postpartum mood disorders and perinatal mood disorders that address the serotonin and the dopamine and norepinephrine.
[00:16:50] So really when that anxiety is that heightened, there’s something going on with the serotonin and we can medicate without harming the baby. Cause it’s really the quality. Of life for the mom and the baby. And some people still are, we don’t want to medicate. And I am not a pill pusher or a medication pusher, but when it comes to your sanity and feeling like you can live a happy, healthy, successful life, we may need to look at lifestyle, cognitive behavioral therapy and a little bit of serotonin.
[00:17:20]And that’s where your OB GYN or your reproductive endocrinologist, or your therapist who specializes in reproductive health can really get you hooked up with somebody who can make that a much better, sane time for people. Yeah. Nobody wants to live like that. That’s that feels terrible. Yeah.
[00:17:38]Kat: [00:17:38] So pregnancy loss is so common. I remember when I was in my twenties and my early thirties, all my friends slowly started getting married and trying for babies, and it was more common to have multiple miscarriages and go through multiple rounds of IVF than to just have a baby straight away. So why do you think pregnancy is low loss is so common nowadays.
[00:18:00] Are we just talking about it more or is there something more to it?
[00:18:03]Windy: [00:18:03] Yeah, that one in four miscarriage is common for one. Once you get into two or more in a row and is considered recurrent pregnancy loss, and that is devastating and can feel very isolating because as you said, everybody’s going on and having their families going onto their second or third, and you’re still trying to have your one. So I really think that it has been an issue. We are just speaking about it. And I’m glad that we are, so people aren’t suffering in silence and they can build their tribe. Either online with support groups, Resolve has some amazing support groups. Postpartum International has some wonderful support groups there support groups now with COVID where people within a state have some amazing support groups, especially for pregnancy after a loss, because the anxiety can be really high and for miscarriage and loss support groups.
[00:18:58]Kat: [00:18:58] From my friends who have miscarried even many, multiple times in a row, they always get out of their depression after they finally get the rainbow baby. Which is usually followed by, oh my God, I haven’t slept in a year. What I, what have I done? What about those that can no longer afford the IVF and they no longer have any choices of becoming pregnant?
[00:19:20] How can they better deal with that kind of grief?
[00:19:23]Windy: [00:19:23] First, I wanted to just touch on what you said in the beginning, as far as multiple miscarriages. That is heartbreaking to me because. That is another reasonable circle back to why we need to be speaking about fertility awareness and the OB GYN, having these conversations because after the first or second that there needs to be interventions that people aren’t having to suffer through those traumatic events over and over again that rollercoaster is real.
[00:19:49]The last part of what you said is, what have I done? And what’s our next option. A lot of people thrive through. It’s victim survivor thriver. We get through the trauma. We go on into survival mode. And then there’s another example of having a tribe, a coach, a mentor, or a counselor who can get, who holds space with you and gets you through to that decision of, do we want to foster to adopt, do we want to adopt, do we want to thrive child-free? And adoption is not a cure. That is a calling. So I never want anyone to feel dismissed oh, you can just adopt. Cause that just cuts people to the core as well. And it is, these are all options that we grieve through and process through to get to that choice of do I want to thrive child-free?
[00:20:39] Kat: [00:20:39] When it comes to postpartum recovery, how can women especially mentally prepare themselves for it? And what does postpartum depression feel like?
[00:20:51] Windy: [00:20:51] Great question. I think we can try to prepare for things and we can research and we can Google, but nothing prepares us. But experience, so experience teaches not words, right?
[00:21:02] I’m a big fan of support and you hear me use the word, develop your tribe, reach out to your tribe, have a postpartum doula, have that postpartum support, your friends who have been through it. Luckily. There is a lot of education and awareness. Postpartum Support international is one of my favorite.
[00:21:20]The current statistic is one out of 10 dads will experience some sort of postpartum mood disorder. And one out of seven ladies will experience some sort of postpartum mood disorder. But definitely listened to your body, have your coping skills, toolbox, tactful, your guided meditation, your breath work, your affirmations, your hopefully you’ve got people that you can talk to, if not a therapist or a postpartum doula, your partner.
[00:21:45]And if you are a choice mom or a choice dad, so single parent by choice that we have actively built up your support system to prepare you for that postpartum sleeplessness. You know how most people will get a little bit of the postpartum blues but the actual depression, a diagnosis of postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety is very heavy.
[00:22:07] It just feels hopeless. It feels completely alone. It feels you’re not a good parent. There’s a lot of things that go into that. And so that’s why when we have our tribes set up and our partner set up and informed, they can be looking for some of those warning signs as well. And that’s where it brings us full circle back to the clarify, communicate, create, and having those check-ins and building those strong bonds and communication with our partner and family.
[00:22:35]Kat: Let’s talk about child free, thriving, who usually pursues child-free thriving by choice in a society that’s obsessed with babies?
[00:22:45] That’s a really good question. So there’s a difference, right? Between people who just know that they want to be child-free and they’re like, Nope, kids aren’t for me. And that is.
[00:22:54]Couple of people in my caseload right now, who they asked that exact same question. How do we fit into a society and a world who kids are everywhere at work? People have to get off work early. Do I take the bulk of the work because they have families. And so we work a lot on boundaries and scripts.
[00:23:14] Boundaries are huge. Not everybody has to have kids you’re allowed to, live well without children. And then that takes us to the other side of the coin, which is folks who have been through the trauma of multiple losses, IVF failed adoptions losses who are saying, you know what? I can’t be controlled by this traumatic journey anymore.
[00:23:36] I’m going to choose to lay the sturdy down, do my grief work and move forward into living well without children. And that’s going to be a lot of trauma work. I see people like that daily. We do a lot of work around the grief, the trauma and the journey itself.
[00:23:54]Kat: [00:23:54] And what about those women that have a baby, but they have severe birth traumas and they’re just. They’re done. They’re never going to have a baby after that.
[00:24:04] Windy: [00:24:04] Sure. Yeah, like you said, it is a traumatic event and my hope is that. People will reach out either to their doctor and get a referral for a counselor or a psychologist or somebody in the mental health field that can help them label it and work through it.
[00:24:25] And there are some wonderful opportunities. Tapping eye movement, reprocessing desensitization. There’s some great evidence-based trauma treatments that aren’t just talk therapy that can really help people get through some of the triggers and the post-traumatic stress responses.
[00:24:43]Kat: [00:24:43] What impact does being child-free have on families and professionals?
[00:24:49]Windy: [00:24:49] The biggest question that comes up to me when folks are working through that are, what if I die alone? What if I’m this little lady that, or this old man or this old couple that we just we’re isolated and we die.
[00:25:05]So with that we talk about, okay. So what about volunteering for children’s organizations? If you like children, what about nieces and nephews? What about friends’s children, being godparents. And so when we open up the possibility of living well and having your tribe doesn’t necessarily mean a blood relative or blood family, because you and I both know that there’s plenty of people that were related to blood wise.
[00:25:33] Oh, my goodness. How are we even related? So building your community, building your tribe of people that you care about and are connected to you. And that’s a process in and of itself too. It’s not, oh, don’t worry. You’ll be just fine. Nope. We walk through every step of what that would look like
[00:25:51]Kat: [00:25:51] What are some reasons that people maybe should not have children?
[00:25:57]Windy: [00:25:57] That’s a really good one too. So the first thing that comes to mind is. I work with folks who are worried about passing on a genetic issue. So bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or cystic fibrosis. There’s so many genetic issues. And so I will say I’ll encourage them, talk to your doctor, talk to a genetics counselor first before you decide that’s the reason because we want you, like we said, knowledge is power.
[00:26:27] We want to know what. What we’re looking at and not assuming and letting the anxiety and the fear drop the bus. We don’t want that. But as far as if there’s major mental health issues or severe postpartum psychosis, where they probably shouldn’t have any more due to the health of the mom and the children, that’s something really to work at with their doctor, with their counselor, with their tribe.
[00:26:52]Kat: [00:26:52] I see a lot of people they’re having children and their lives are a mess. Their relationships are a mess. They’re fighting all the time. Yeah. They want a child for the absolute wrong reasons, like to fill some void that they couldn’t fill themselves.
[00:27:07] And it just puts a lot of pressure for a child that they’re not gonna, they’re not going to meet them.
[00:27:11]Windy: [00:27:11] Absolutely. And I hear that with a lot of the folks I work with who are struggling with infertility there that’s part of their grief process is it’s just not fair. Why did they get kids? And we don’t, or I don’t, I go to the store and I see people who are a hot mess.
[00:27:29] It just isn’t fair. So that being said, that is part of the grief process and I’m processing why. Because there is no why it’s just, it’s not fair. And having worked in child abuse for so long, I’m biased. I do have some biases with that yeah.
[00:27:44]Kat: [00:27:44] Tell us a little bit about what you were telling me earlier about PCOS and endometriosis. What are some things that people should know about if they think they have it?
[00:27:54]Windy: [00:27:54] Once again. Awesome. This brings us right back to why it’s important to have those early conversations and not just put a bandaid on it, not just stick somebody on birth control without doing the investigative work and listening and having those conversations with your primary care provider or your OB GYN.
[00:28:13]So there are certain symptoms with PCOS. Yes. It’s all of your hormones. We can’t just flop somebody on birth control for that. So having the assertiveness to really advocate for yourself, if you are feeling something and something’s not quite right, with your body, you are allowed to advocate and to ask questions and to be this ….., you will.
[00:28:37] So anytime there’s anything going on that you don’t feel comfortable with. Speak up. I know that’s hard for some people and I respect that we’re not taught assertiveness a lot of times at a young age, especially us girls, but I will scream from the rooftops from now until I’m not allowed to even speak anymore that assertiveness and advocacy.
[00:28:59] So speak your truth. Don’t dim your light.
[00:29:02]Kat: [00:29:02] When I was young and I had all my hormonal imbalances and I didn’t know what was going on. I just went to the gynecologist. They’re like, here’s birth control. This’ll fix it. And it didn’t it cause severe depression, anxiety, other issues. And it was just switching from one birth control type to another for, I don’t know, a decade in total.
[00:29:24] And ultimately nobody could even tell me what was wrong with me. They just giving me birth control. That was it. That was the only conversation, 10, 20 doctors in nobody said there’s anything else that could be done. And what I found was that you really have to sometimes be your own advocate and research on your own, as sad as that is.
[00:29:46] Sometimes you’re not going to find that help from a professional, unfortunately, and you have to figure it out. For me, that was, that looked like me doing the research on my own, me finding the labs and requesting the test directly with the lab. Me. Reaching out to doctors online that I couldn’t find in my area saying I have this in my labs.
[00:30:10] What does this mean? Can you do a remote thing with me? This was before remote was as possible. So it’s it’s easier now, but it’s still hard if you want to go the traditional route. Cause still today I go to, I remember when I was pregnant and I had preeclampsia and nobody. Knew that I had preeclampsia.
[00:30:29] There was just, it was, they didn’t figure it out. I am like, I was a very petite size, zero five foot, little tiny frame person. And I had gained like 60 pounds, in a week and it was fluid. And and I go to the doctor and I’m like, Ugh, something is severely wrong and they’re like, you’re thin, you’re fine.
[00:30:50] Because for me compared to them, I guess it wasn’t cause I’m looking at these doctors and some of them, like there was one that she had like a full beard and she was balding and she was morbidly obese and I’m like, You’re a doctor. You haven’t figured out your hormones. And then if I tell her that I am, I feel overweight, it just sounds like this is not the person who would be able to help me.
[00:31:17]Windy: [00:31:17] This is why I’m glad that you are doing what you do, because the more people that hear you speak, the more people you touch and the more educated they become to ask questions. If someone’s not listening to you. Leave and find somebody who will it’s the same with the child abuse and the child sexual abuse, the same with advocating for our healthcare speak until someone listens.
[00:31:42] I’m so thankful that you continue to advocate for yourself.
[00:31:45]Kat: [00:31:45] Yes. And we need to be a little bit more. Adamant about doing so, because there’s a lot of censorship. If you say anything that’s outside of just put them on birth control pills. Now you’re just spreading misinformation. So we have to be more diligent to share the information to other people and to spread it because it’s a little bit harder to just get it out naturally.
[00:32:07]Windy: [00:32:07] And there are so many perspectives and so many schools of thought. Sure. Birth control was reproductive freedom, but as with anything we learn and grow as we do research and as human beings, have issues. So yeah, there’s more than one school of thought. And if a doctor and I have very close friends who are doctors, and I will say this straight to them, If a doctor says to you, don’t question me, listen to me.
[00:32:38] That is not your doctor. We need to find someone who sees you as a partner in your health care, not as the boss of your health care, you are the boss of your healthcare. So I’ll get off my soap box. Now, Kat.
[00:32:50] Kat: [00:32:50] When I met my husband, he was in school to be an acupuncturist. And now he does functional medicine. And when he was in school learning about this stuff, the first thing he said is you’re getting off birth control and I’m like, what? But it makes me pretty. Yeah, it takes away all my acne and it makes me like all calm.
[00:33:07] And of course, as soon as I got off of it, acne like crazy. And I started blowing up in weight, it was a nightmare.
[00:33:16]Windy: [00:33:16] And now you have the knowledge, that is your power for the lifestyle changes for the mental health work. There’s some physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, financial parts of self.
[00:33:27]Kat: [00:33:27] So how can everybody work with you? What kind of services do you have?
[00:33:32]Windy: [00:33:32] Oh, I offer online coaching and counseling and you can find me at inner solutions, counseling.com. I also do a lot of online work with peanut. I do A lot of speaking, I have fertile affirmations, which is a mindfulness based affirmation tool.
[00:33:52]The process of developing a couple of courses. So you can find that also at inner solutions counseling.com or fertile affirmations.com.
[00:34:01]Kat: [00:34:01] And is there anything that we might have missed that you would like to leave our audience?
[00:34:07]Windy: [00:34:07] I think we covered it. If we could just full circle back to just on my soap box again about clarifying, communicating, creating, building your tribe and assertively advocating. I think that would be our, in a nutshell.
[00:34:22]Kat: [00:34:22] Awesome. So thank you so much for your time and I will put everything in the show notes.
[00:34:27]Windy: [00:34:27] Awesome. Thank you so much. It was so good to see you.
[Transcripts are autogenerated and may not be 100% accurate]